Good vs Bad Reasons to be Poly

One of the biggest mistakes people can make when starting a poly relationship is doing it for the wrong reasons. If you get into poly for the wrong reasons then you are doomed to be miserable and to hurt the people around you. On the flip side of that coin, if you get into poly for the right reasons, you could find yourself pretty damned happy  with a full heart engaged in multiple mutual loving relationships.

What are the good and the bad reasons to be Poly, you ask?

Well, there are infinite reasons that anyone could do anything, but here are the most common ones that I know of:

 

Good/Right Reasons to be Poly:
– you enjoy listening to others talk about their feelings as well as talking about your own feelings and are open to having these discussions with multiple partners at the same time
– you feel confident in your ability to show two or more people that they are special to you at the same time
– you have the libido to satisfy two or more people at the same time
– you believe it is possible to love two or more people at the same time
– you understand that relationships go through seasons and are willing to put in the effort to make things work rather than dropping a person when things get hard for a little while
– you trust your partners and you have proven yourself trustworthy to them
– you have enough time, energy, and the love inside of you to enrich the lives of two or more people at the same time

 

Bad/Wrong Reasons to be Poly:
– your current sexual partner isn’t enough and you want to fuck more people
– you want to have sex with multiple people at the same time
– you are bored within your current relationship and looking for more excitement
– you figure poly people are probably easier to bang
– you figure poly people are probably kinkier in bed
– you are not looking for anything serious so you figure fucking a married woman would be ideal

The Little Black Dress in my Closet

Five years ago i was asked out on a date. A proper fancy date, the kind that requires dressing up for. Trouble was, i had never had an event to dress up for before.

i never went to a school dance, never went to homecoming or prom.
my wedding was a small affair at a courthouse, so i didn’t have a proper wedding dress.
Nor a reception party.
In all my years as a military wife, i never attended the yearly ball.
i never had a birthday party.
Nor had i ever attended any events or holidays that required more than jeans.

This was the first time in all my life that i needed to dress up and look proper for a night out at a fancy restaurant. And i was so excited.

i went to every store in the shopping centre, spent hours trying on dresses, got matching shoes i could barely walk in, had a friend help me pick out make up, and spent several more hours watching online tutorials to learn how to paint my face up pretty.

The day of the date finally came. i was so nervous-excited getting ready. i had waited my whole life for an occasion to dress up and have someone want to show me off on their arm.  i looked in the mirror and i felt like a fairytale princess.

Then He changed His mind.

We stayed in.

He made a nice candlelit dinner and i wore that dress for barely an hour while i sat at the table with Him.

Then i put the dress away in the back of my closet.

i haven’t worn it since.

And that dress has moved with me, from the back of one closet to the back of another closet four times in those five years.

Every time i move, every time i clean out my closet to get rid of the things i never wear, i pick up that dress and i run my fingers over the material and i hold it up to me and i cry.

The matching shoes were donated to Goodwill long ago.

The make up was tossed out months before that.

But the dress stays.

A constant reminder of the one fairytale princess night out that i have always wanted, but never had. Because whores don’t get to play princess, not even for one night.